"Be responsible for the energy you bring into the room."

A colleague and I were reflecting on a meeting. Particularly, on the attitude of one individual. In commiseration she said:

"I mean... be responsible for the energy you bring into the room."

That conversation was over 10-years ago but it still impacts me today. It was a statement that crystalized my feelings and has been part of my personal self talk ever since.

Reflecting back on family dynamics, collegiate sport and work, I have the skill to "read a room". Meaning I am sensitive to the energy of others, and able to feel shifts in mood or group momentum that could be the result of a statement or body language. It was in college when studying sport psychology and reading Terry Orlick's, The Pursuit of Excellence that I learned the physiological phenomenon behind this. It is the limbic system that senses energy in others. Our bodies seek to create limbic resonance, which is the idea that human bodies attempt to match another person's emotion. We regulate our inner emotional states to balance with others.

In summary, attitude we bring into a group either lifts us up, or drags us down. That isn't hippie witchcraft, it's science. This is why the title quote resonated with me so profoundly.

I readily use this quote when setting the roles and responsibilities of new teams. Whether in a formal Terms of Reference, or in our first team conversation, I ask everyone (including myself) to "Be responsible for the energy we bring into the room". That we must attempt to leave any negative energy we may be carrying at the meeting room door. We work too hard and for too long together not to enjoy our time.

It was years after my colleague shared the phrase that I realized she was not the original author of the quote. It was actually a woman named Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, who after suffering a stroke, could only sense the energy of the nurses and doctors who visited her in the hospital. Fighting for her life she could feel energy ebb and flow depending on the attitude of the people around her. This remarkable story is where the quote actually originated from.

Years ago my colleague recited the quote to me. It has since been a favourite that I repeat in the workplace. It encapsulates my personal beliefs and it is a metaphor for how I manage self and my teams. Naively I once thought it was the wisdom of my colleague, now I am happy to give credit to Dr. Taylor.

Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor's TED Talk