Do leaders feel lonely?
- Jordan Mottl
- Oct 28
- 3 min read
Updated: Oct 29
We all have felt as the "other" from time to time in our professional communities. This can happen for a million different reasons but it is always unsettling. For me, this happened when my personal feelings and thoughts went unshared with my team on a relatively consistent basis. For a time, I couldn't quite establish why I felt "off". Then I realized it was loneliness I was feeling, and things started to make more sense.
As I have progressed in my career I have worked with increasingly sensitive issues necessitating confidentiality, meaning fewer people to communicate with about certain information. I also know that I thrive on, and energized by, the exceptional. This means my work practices can be isolating from others. Colleagues don't always understand my effort and standards.
This was my context when I began thinking about loneliness at work. I was curious to know more and began research into the area expecting to find very little. I couldn't have been more wrong. What started as an original thought, revealed a whole subsection of study on leadership loneliness. I was blown away.
Leadership loneliness is a common, well-studied, and well-defined topic. There is a robust and growing body of research that is consistently confirming that leaders, particularly CEOs and senior executives, frequently experience feelings of loneliness and isolation. The consequences include impaired decision making, reduced innovation, dissatisfaction, increased stress, sleep problems, anxiety, burnout, heart disease, stroke, depression, and more. It is a sad conclusion to the colloquial phrase, "It's lonely at the top"
This now seems obvious and intuitive to me. Leaders get to where they are because they are different from others. Full stop. End of story. Of course, it is more complex. Here are some of the themes that are identified to be causing leader loneliness:
High Responsibility: Leaders bear significant decision-making burdens, often with limited ability to share confidential information or express vulnerability.
Over-visibility and Scrutiny: Leaders are constantly "on stage," leading to a sense of being scrutinized and a need to maintain a strong façade. They operate at a distance to their true feelings more so than others.
Conflicting Expectations: The tension between being decisive and inclusive, or confident and humble, can create feelings of inauthenticity and isolation.
Workload and Time Constraints: The sheer volume of work and demands can limit time for building meaningful connections.
Reduced Peer Networks: As leaders climb the organizational ladder, their circle of true peers shrinks, making it difficult to find others who genuinely understand their challenges.
Changed Relationships with Subordinates: The transition to leadership often creates distance from former peers, making informal social interactions more challenging.
Fear of Vulnerability: Leaders may feel pressure to appear strong and have all the answers, inhibiting them from sharing concerns or asking for help.
High-Power Distance Culture: Organizations with a strong hierarchical structure can exacerbate leader loneliness by discouraging open communication and fostering a sense of separation.
Lack of Psychological Safety: Environments where vulnerability is not accepted, or hostile political agendas create mistrust can prevent leaders from being authentic and building genuine connections.
Focus on Individual Achievement: Cultures that prioritize individual success over collaboration can inadvertently contribute to isolation.
Remote Work: The rise of remote work and globalized teams, especially post-pandemic, has been identified as a factor potentially increasing loneliness for leaders due to reduced face-to-face interaction
It will be interesting to see where this research goes. Ironically, most of us probably won't hear about it, because by definition it only will impact a select group of people. In the meantime, let's remember that no one is immune to stress, and we all crave meaningful personal connections - even your CEO.
